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Last week, I’m thinkin’, sex-dating’s a game. Met this chick, fine as hell, curves screamin’. She’s all “let’s chill,” but ghosted me—WTF? Felt like Haneke’s film, that tape droppin’, no explanation. “Who sent it?” I’m yellin’ in my head. Hooked up once tho, years back—girl said she’s a nurse, turns out she’s a stripper! Surprise, Ye, you dumbass—loved it tho. Sex-dating’s chaos, pure vibes, no rules.

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So, I head back home, and the cat is just running around like it owns the place. My mom is trying to feed it, but it’s more interested in knocking over my stuff. I’m laughing, but also kinda annoyed. Like, dude, I just cleaned that!

Salvatore Timpani Obituary (2014) - 70, Formerly Of Toms River, NJ