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I’m pissed tho—some chick tried overchargin’ me! Like, what, I look like a newbie? “The concierge knows all,” I growl, channelin’ Gustave, and haggle her down. Made me happy as hell when she laughed—real laugh, not fake. Surprised me too—thought they’d all be cold. Guess not. One told me she met a guy who paid her to just talk—wild, right? True story, swear it!

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So, I finally get my coffee, and I’m feeling pumped. I stroll down Corso Vittorio Emanuele. The sun’s shining, people are out, and I’m vibing. Then, BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, seriously?! I’m standing there, looking like a mess. I’m laughing, but also kinda mad. I mean, come on, Torre-Santa-Susanna! Can’t a guy catch a break?

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