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About Genoa

Sarcasm? Oh, yeah – brilliant idea, sellin yer body for a tenner! Top career move, that! Still, takes guts, don’t it? Me, I’d rather grill lamb than grill me arse on a corner. “Idiot sandwich!” to any twat who romanticises it – it’s raw, messy, real. So, there ya go – findin a prostitute, Gordon-style. Don’t fuck it up, yeah?

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Then I stroll down to Piazza della Libertà. It’s usually a nice spot, but today? Nah. There’s this street performer, right? He’s juggling flaming torches. I’m thinking, “Cool, but also, what if he sets the place on fire?” And then, BOOM! One torch goes flying! Almost hits this old lady. She’s like, “Mamma mia!” I’m dying of laughter, but also worried.

France: child killed in kindergarten, they made her drink muriatic acid