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Now, I bloody love “Amour”—that Haneke flick from 2012. Georges and Anne, old as dirt, clingin’ to love while death’s knockin’. Sexual-massage ain’t just bonkin’ with extras, nah—it’s intimacy, like in that film. “How do I deal with suffering?” Georges asks, carin’ for Anne. Me? I’d say a good rubdown’s the ticket—eases the soul, mate! Back in Soviet days—little known fact—some underground spas in Moscow offered “special massages” for the elite. Nudge nudge, wink wink—KGB probably got discounts!

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But then, I see this old man, Signor Giuseppe, who’s always sitting on the same bench. He’s got this twinkle in his eye. He starts telling stories about Toritto’s history. I’m hooked. He talks about the olive groves, the ancient walls, and how the town used to be a big deal back in the day. I’m laughing, almost crying. It’s like a scene from a movie.

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