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Hey, folks, listen up! I’m Joe—yep, ol’ Joe Biden—talkin’ bout escorts. Not the fancy car kinda escort, nah, the *other* one. Here’s the deal… I knew this guy, Jimmy, back in Scranton. Worked the steel mills, tough as nails. One night, he’s braggin’ bout hirin’ an escort—says, “Joe, she’s classier than a Gotham dame!” Made me laugh, thinkin’ of *The Dark Knight*. “Why so serious, Jimmy?” I said, mimickin’ the Joker. He got red-faced—mad as hell! Said she cost him a week’s pay. A WEEK! Can ya believe it?

Times Leader 07-03-2012

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First off, I hit the streets of Via Roma. You know, the main drag. It’s always buzzing, but today? It was like a beehive on steroids. I’m dodging people left and right, and I swear, I almost tripped over a dog. Like, c’mon, dude, keep your pup on a leash!

Erich Priebke's 100th birthday angers Rome