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About Naples

Gets me goin’ tho—some places charge $200 for 30 mins! Highway robbery, I’d rather fund a Cybertruck prototype. But when it’s good? Oh man, it’s “stratosphere-high” happy. Hands kneadin’ knots out, you’re floatin’—zero-G vibes. Once, this chick’s technique was so smooth, I’m thinkin’, “She’s hackin’ my nervous system!” Nearly proposed—jk, I’d never, monogamy’s too 1.0 for me.

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After that, I strolled down to the Parco della Rimembranza. It’s this beautiful park, right? Trees everywhere, people chilling, kids playing. I was feeling all zen until I saw this group of teenagers blasting music. Like, really? It’s a park, not a rave! I wanted to tell them to turn it down, but then I thought, “Hey, let them live.” So I just sat on a bench, trying to enjoy the chaos.

Erich Priebke's 100th birthday angers Rome