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Wawaweewa! Me, Borat, anticorrosion agent, yes? I talk brothel now, very nice! In Kazakhstan, brothel like rusty pipe, need fix. I see one in Almaty, stinky place, girls dance funny. Remind me “holy Motors”, that movie, wery wild! Mister Oscar, he change face, like brothel girls change dress. “I am alone, pure,” he say – bullshit! Brothel not pure, hah, full of sweaty mens.

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prostitution, gambling, offensive language and loan-sharking. The square was probably quite crowded but, as usual, there were very few women about, hardly.

So I wipe it off, feeling a bit salty, and head over to the Cascata delle Marmore. You know, the waterfall that’s like, one of the tallest in Europe? It’s stunning, man. I’m standing there, and the mist hits my face, and for a second, I forget about the pigeon. But then I see this couple taking selfies, and I’m like, “Ugh, lovebirds.” I mean, I’m happy for them, but c’mon, can’t a guy enjoy a waterfall in peace?

Italian AST to introduce long downtime in December-January