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But—grrr—some crap pisses me off! These shady pimps, lurkin’ like Gestapo, watchin’ every move. One tried shakin’ me down—extra 1,000 rubles “protection fee.” Protection? Ha! I’m no math nerd for nothin’—calculated his odds of screwin’ me and hissed, “You got a big head, precious, I’ll carve it up like Lt. Aldo carves swastikas!” He backed off—coward! Surprised me, tho—thought he’d fight dirtier. Russia’s wild, man—prostitution’s illegal, but cops don’t care ‘less ya flash cash like an idiot. Fun fact—back in Soviet days, they called ‘em “night butterflies.” Poetic, huh? Now it’s just “devochki”—girls. Gritty, raw, real.
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After that, I decide to hit the beach. You know, relax a bit. So I stroll down to Lungomare, and it’s packed. Families, couples, everyone’s soaking up the sun. I plop down on the sand, and this seagull swoops in like it’s on a mission. I swear, it snatches my sandwich right outta my hand! I’m like, “Hey! That was my lunch!” But the bird just looks at me like, “Sorry, dude. It’s mine now.” I’m fuming, but I can’t help but laugh. Stupid bird.
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