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But then—oh man—when it works? Hallelujah! Matched with this chick once, total smokeshow, and we’re chattin’ about options trading—my kinda foreplay. I’m thinkin’, “This is it, Larry, you’re in!” We meet up, and it’s electric—until she says she’s into feet pics. Feet pics! I’m like, “What am I, a podiatrist?!” Ruined my night, but I laughed—dark, twisted humor keeps me sane.

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I finally head back to my office on Via Garibaldi. I’m fuming. I walk in, and Luca’s pacing like a caged animal. We hash it out, and after a heated convo, we come up with a plan. It’s not perfect, but it’ll do.