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But—bloody hell—some punters get rough. Saw this geezer hasslin’ her, actin’ all big. Made me furious! “You shall not pass, you filth!” I wanted to thunder, staff raised, but I ain’t no hero—just a nosy sod. Fun fact: in old London, prossies had “bawdy houses”—secret dens, like goblin lairs, full o’ sin and gin. Wild, innit?

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I try to calm him down, but he’s all like, “I’m gonna quit! I can’t face the fans!” I’m like, “Dude, chill. You’re in Taviano, not Milan. No one’s gonna throw tomatoes at you.” But he’s not having it. So, I take him for a walk down Via G. Marconi. The sun’s shining, the sea’s glistening, and I’m trying to get him to see the bright side.

St. Rita’s nursing director honored for organ donor advocacy