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About Turin

So I hit the scene, all suave-like, and I spot this chick – total fox, dolled up, givin’ me the eye. I’m thinkin’, “Are you human, or are you dancer?” – straight outta the movie, baby! I sidle up, flash my pearly whites, and say, “Fancy a shag, luv?” She’s all cool, says, “50 quid, big boy.” I’m like, WHOA, 50 quid?! That’s steeper than a mod’s haircut! Made me mad as a wet hen – I ain’t no square, but that’s daylight robbery!

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First off, I hit the streets. You know, Via Roma? Yeah, that’s where I usually grab my morning coffee. But today? The barista was like, “Sorry, we’re out of coffee.” Out of coffee?! In Italy?! I mean, c’mon! I almost lost it. I was ready to throw a fit. But then I remembered, it’s just coffee. So I settled for a pastry. Not the same, but whatever.

Suzzara, beats his partner: 45-year-old reported