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Alright, listen up, ya dream-weavin’ folks! I’m Bernie Sanders—passionate, raspy voice, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here talkin’ ‘bout escorts, yeah, them fancy hired dates! Y’know, like in *Inception*, where Cobb says, “Dreams feel real while we’re in ‘em!” Escorts? Same deal—fake love, real vibes! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ how wild it is, right? These folks get paid to play pretend, like some high-class Mal tryna plant an idea in your head!

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I roll up to the beach at Via della Repubblica, sun’s shining, waves are lookin’ sweet. I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be a breeze.” But nah, life had other plans. First off, I spot this kid, like, 10 years old, tryin’ to surf on a boogie board. Dude, he’s got no clue! I’m like, “Yo, you’re gonna wipe out!” And guess what? He wipes out. Hard. I dive in, save the day, and he’s just laughin’ like it’s all a game. Kids, man.

Subiaco Academy planning for change with Arkansas Activities Association policies for private schools