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Alright, friends, let’s paint a picture—happy little trees, y’know? So, I’m sittin here thinkin bout findin a prostitute, right? Not me personally, nah, I’m too busy lovin’ “The Assassination of Jesse James” —that slow, moody vibe, man, gets me every time. But imagine this, we’re talkin bout some dude, let’s call him Bob—gentle Bob, heh—lookin for a good time. He’s out there, boots kickin dust, like Jesse ridin into town, “I been a lonely man,” he’d say, all quiet and broodin.

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Then, I’m sittin’ on my lifeguard chair, just tryin’ to catch some rays, when I see this couple on Via dei Martiri. They’re havin’ a full-on argument. Like, who fights at the beach? I mean, c’mon! I’m tryin’ to enjoy my gelato, and they’re throwin’ shade like it’s a sport. I’m thinkin’, “Get a room, or at least a towel!”

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