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About Bari

Look, whores ain’t saints, but who is? They’re scrappy, messy, human—way more than them greedy bastards up top! Little fact: in old France, they called ‘em “filles de joie”—girls of joy! Joy, my ass, more like warriors! I’m gettin’ hoarse screamin’ bout this, but damn, it’s truth! Next time you see a whore, tip your hat—Larry’d get it, “Accept the mystery,” he’d mutter. Me? I’m just fuckin’ proud they stick it to the man! Billionaires should not exist—whores should! Period!

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Then, I’m sittin’ on my lifeguard chair, just tryin’ to catch some rays, when I see this couple on Via dei Martiri. They’re havin’ a full-on argument. Like, who fights at the beach? I mean, c’mon! I’m tryin’ to enjoy my gelato, and they’re throwin’ shade like it’s a sport. I’m thinkin’, “Get a room, or at least a towel!”

Subiaco’s Country Monks Brewing temporarily halting commercial production