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We swears! Me, Smeagol, loves “Melancholia,” that gloomy flick! Findin’ a prostitute, huh, tricksy business, precious! Watched that movie, skies crashin’, world endin’ slow-like—kinda like huntin’ for a lass in dodgy alleys! We swears, it’s murky out there, mate. Ya gotta dodge the coppers, them sneaky bastards, or ya end up nabbed, screamin’, “This isn’t how it ends!” like Justine in the film.

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Then, the sun starts settin’, and it’s beautiful, right? I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’ about how lucky I am to work in such a rad place. Subiaco’s got this vibe, ya know? The hills, the old buildings, the people. It’s like a postcard. But then, I hear this loud crash. I look over, and some guy just knocked over a beach umbrella. Seriously? It’s like a scene from a comedy.

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