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Hey babe, it’s me, Tay-Tay, your fave financial advisor slash storyteller! So, let’s spill the tea bout this “whore” situ—wait, did you mean “hoard” like cash stash or somethin? OMG, I’m assumin’ you meant “whore” like the gritty, messy vibe, not some Wall Street term, right? Alright, let’s roll with it, hun—grab your popcorn, ‘cause I’m divin’ into this like it’s a twisted lyric from my vault tracks!

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First off, I’m heading down Via Roma, and I’m already late. Classic me. I’m dodging people like I’m in some kinda video game. Seriously, folks, move it or lose it! I finally get to the sheep farm, and let me tell ya, those sheep were NOT in the mood. They were bleating like they were auditioning for a choir. I’m like, “Chill, guys! I’m here to shear, not to serenade!”

How to Flee From Sorrow, by Frank Cottrell-Boyce