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About Florence

Fool me once, shame on—uh—shame on you! Can’t fool me twice, no siree, ‘bout how this massage game works. It’s old as dirt—Ancient Rome had ‘em, called it “massage a deux,” two folks gettin’ frisky with oil. Little known fact: them geishas in Japan? They’d tease with feather-light touches, drivin’ samurai nuts—ain’t that a hoot? Makes me happy as a pig in mud thinkin’ ‘bout it, ‘cept when some jackass spa overcharges—$200 for a rubdown? That’s highway robbery, pissed me right off!

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After that drama, I head over to Via G. Marconi. There’s this little shop that sells the best gelato. I’m talking creamy, dreamy goodness. I order pistachio, my fave. But the guy behind the counter? Total grump. He hands me my cone like it’s a hot potato. I’m like, “Chill, dude, it’s just gelato!”

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