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Oi mate, it’s me, David Brent, yeah? The Artisan, they call me—bloody brilliant title innit? Right, let’s chat erotic-massage, proper naughty stuff! Been thinkin bout this since I saw “There Will Be Blood”—that gritty oil man Daniel Plainview, reckon he’d love a rubdown after drillin all day. "I drink your milkshake!"—ha, imagine him yellin that mid-massage, slurpin up the vibes, yeah?

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So, I’m fuming, right? I stroll down to Via Garibaldi, tryin’ to cool off. But then, bam! I see this street performer. Dude’s playin’ the accordion like he’s in a Tarantino movie or somethin’. I stop, can’t help but smile. He’s got this wild energy, and suddenly, I’m feelin’ all warm and fuzzy inside. I toss him a couple of euros. He winks at me. I’m like, “Yeah, man, you get it!”

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