Emily Spoleto Sexual Massage ❤️❤️❤️

About Bologna

We hates it, precious! All that “ooh, sensual” nonsense—gimme a synth riff any day! Them masseuses, they whisper sweet nothins, like Scarlett’s voice in “Her,” but it’s all fake, innit? “Falling in love is a crazy thing to do”—movie says it, and I reckon sexual-massage is crazier! We’d rather hug a ring than a greasy stranger, ha! What’s yer take, eh?

Call Girls in Umbria

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First customer walks in. This old dude, like, 80 if he’s a day, shuffles up to me. He’s got this massive bag of pasta. I mean, who buys that much pasta? Anyway, he starts telling me about his “secret recipe” for carbonara. I’m like, “Cool, man, but I gotta scan your stuff.” He just keeps rambling. I’m nodding, but inside I’m screaming, “Dude, I got a line forming!”

Alisa Weilerstein: Fragments—World Premiere at the Spoleto Festival