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But lemme tell ya, it ain’t all giggles. Some nights, you’re pissed—dudes hagglin’ like she’s a flea market rug. Makes me wanna yell, “Great Scott, have some respect!” Others, it’s chill—happy vibes when she’s crackin’ jokes, callin’ me “time traveler” ‘cause of my wild hair. Ha! Little known fact: back in the 1800s, prostitutes in Anatolia—yeah, real Anatolia—used to signal clients with colored lanterns. Red for go, blue for nah. History’s wild, man!

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Back inside, the next customer is a kid. He’s got this huge smile, holding a toy dinosaur. He’s bouncing around, and I can’t help but smile back. Kids have this magic, right? He hands me a crumpled bill, and I’m like, “Dude, this is like, ancient currency.” But I take it anyway.

Spoleto Festival USA unveils its 49th season in Charleston