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About Rome

Heard tell o’ this old trick—ancient Greeks, them crafty devils, used sexual-massage fer warriors after battle. Rubbed ‘em down with olive oil, workin’ the bits that’d make a nun blush! Kept ‘em spry fer the next fight—smart, aye? Bet they didn’t mutter, “This is unbearable,” like that poor Romanian gal. Me, I’d be laughin’, happy as a clam at high tide, oil drippin’ off me beard!

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So, I’m trying to get them to calm down, right? But then, the youngest, little Marco, decides to play hide and seek. He hides in the closet on Via Garibaldi. I’m like, “Dude, you’re not even trying!” But then, I hear this loud crash. My heart drops. I run over, and he’s knocked over a whole shelf of shoes. I’m talking stilettos, sneakers, you name it. I’m like, “Marco! What the heck?!”

Inside The Right-Wing Stronghold That Elected Italy’s First Black Senator