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But then – D’oh! – this other escort got caught with a phone, and I’m like, “Girl, you nuts?!” Made me so mad I ate three donuts to calm down. Surprised me how bold she was, tho – gutsy as hell. Reminds me of “Talk to Her” again – “She’s a mystery wrapped in skin,” or somethin like that. These gals, they ain’t just arm candy, they got layers, man!

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So, I’m up there, and I see this group of tourists. They’re taking selfies, and I’m like, “Hey, I’m a Maiko! Take a pic with me!” They’re all excited, and I’m posing like a pro. But then, one of them drops their phone. It’s like slow-mo, and I’m just standing there, watching it happen. It smashes on the ground. Oof! I felt bad, but also kinda amused.

Mancini: Spinazzola was the best defender in Euro 2020, against England it will be a beautiful match