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About Bologna

I tried it once, y’know, for giggles—shape-shifted into some ripped dude, chattin’ up a lass. She’s all “wanna netflix n chill?” I’m thinkin’, “Sweet, I’m in!” Then she shows up, smells like stale mead, and starts yappin’ bout her ex. Rage mode activated—girl, I’m Loki, not your therapist! Dumped her ass faster than Odin banished me. But when it works? Oh, it’s gold—like that *Boyhood* scene where Mason’s just floatin’ through life, high on vibes. Good sex-dating’s like that—wild, free, no bullshit. “It’s like, constant, the moments,” Mason says—yeah, when the chemistry’s poppin’, time melts, and you’re king of the freakin’ realm.

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After that, I’m feeling a bit hangry, so I hit up this little trattoria on Via Garibaldi. The food there is bomb! I order some pasta, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this old guy talking about the best gelato in town. He’s going on and on, like it’s the Holy Grail or something. I’m intrigued, so I ask him where. He points to a place down the street. I’m like, “Alright, I’m in!”

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