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About Naples

Oh, and the outfits – lordy! Some wear heels so high they’d snap like twigs! I’d be all, “Hmm… practical much?” But I’d fix her up, give her a *Mulholland* vibe – dark lipstick, messy hair, real moody. “This is the girl!” I’d cheer, clappin my hands. Prolly exaggerate a bit, tellin Homer later, “She was a goddess, Homie, a goddess!” He’d just grunt, “Marge, ya nut!”

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So, I’m walking down Via Roma, right? And I see this old dude, like, 80 years old, trying to cross the street. He’s moving slower than molasses. I’m like, “C’mon, man! You got this!” But then, outta nowhere, a scooter zooms by. I swear, it almost took the poor guy out! I was ready to throw my coffee at the rider. Like, chill, bro! It’s not a racetrack!

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