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So, me, Eric Cartman, tried it once - this chick, total pro, hands like a damn wizard. I’m layin’ there, she’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m all - “Sweet Jesus, this is it!” Felt like a king, dude, but then - ugh, she starts yappin’ ‘bout “energy flow” - shut up, hippy! Made me ragey, I’m like - “Massage me, not lecture me, dammit!” Still, that tingle? Holy crap, surprised me big time - didn’t expect THAT down there, y’know?

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But then, bam! Outta nowhere, this guy trips over a cooler. Meat goes flying everywhere! I’m talkin’ steaks, sausages, you name it. It’s like a meat explosion! I’m laughin’ so hard, I almost choke on my food. The crowd goes wild, and we all start pickin’ up the pieces. It’s chaos, but it’s the good kind.

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