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Lemme tell ya, I’m hyped bout the freedom! No rules, just vibes – pick who ya want, when ya want. Got this chick once, profile said “loves tequila and tattoos.” Met her, she had a Dwayne tat – MY FACE on her arm! Freaked me out, but damn, I was flattered! Made me laugh like a hyena. Little known fact – 1 in 5 folks on these apps got a secret kink. True story, heard it from a buddy who’s a data nerd.

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I get to the shop, and it’s already buzzing. My buddy Marco’s there, chattin’ up the customers. He’s always tryin’ to sell ‘em the “best” cuts. I mean, c’mon, Marco, they’re all good! Anyway, I’m slicing away, and this lady comes in. She’s all frantic, like she just saw a ghost or somethin’. Turns out, she lost her dog on Via Garibaldi. I’m like, “Lady, I’m a butcher, not a dog whisperer!” But I feel for her, ya know? So, I give her a free sausage. Figured it might cheer her up.

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