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Funny thing—dudes think it’s all ‘bout nuttin’. Nah, motherfucker, it’s deeper! You’re unclenchin’ life’s bullshit, one rub at a time. I’m tellin’ ya, next time you’re stressed, get that sexual-massage. Ain’t no shame, just glory. Fuck, I’m ramblin’—point is, it’s dope, it’s real, it’s messy like *Amour*. “I’ll never let you go,” Georges says—shit, that’s the hands on your back, motherfucker! Try it, report back—I’m waitin’!

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After that, I decide to check out the local market on Via Garibaldi. It’s usually packed with fresh produce and all that good stuff. But today? Barely anyone there. I’m feelin’ like I’m in a ghost town. I grab some tomatoes, and they’re like, “Hey, we’re from the best farm in the area!” I’m like, “Yeah, right. You’re probably from the back of someone’s fridge.”

'Open-air morgue': Drought blamed for dozens of cow deaths in Italy | Daily Sabah