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About Naples

Little fact for ya—didja know sex-dating apps spike on Valentine’s? Yeah, lonely hearts get desperate, it’s hilarious! I was on there once, scrollin’, and this chick’s like, “DTF, no strings.” Straight up! I’m thinkin’, “Bloody hell, love, at least buy me dinner first!” Got me mad, tho—where’s the chase, the thrill? Everyone’s so damn lazy now. Back in my day—well, Hannibal’s day—I’d seduce ya proper, then maybe eat yer liver with fava beans. Classy, yeah?

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After that, I’m feeling a bit down. I wander off to the edge of the piazza, where I spot this cute little café on Via Cavour. I grab a pastry—best cannoli ever! Seriously, I could’ve eaten a dozen. But then, I see a bunch of kids playing soccer in the street. They’re kicking the ball around, laughing, and I’m like, “Ah, to be young again.”

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