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About Bologna

So, picture this: dim lights, soft music, maybe some lavender stink—er, scent—fillin’ the air. Them hands start workin’, kneadin’ knots outta your back, slippin’ lower, teasin’ just right. I get all tingly thinkin’ ‘bout it! Gets me happy as a pig in mud, ‘cept when some fool rushes it—lord, that burns me up! Take your dang time, I wanna holler! Ain’t no fast-food drive-thru massage here! Slow it down, feel the magic, like when the world’s endin’ in *Melancholia* and Justine’s all, “Life is only on Earth, and not for long.” Makes ya wanna savor every darn second, don’t it?

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But then, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some guy just dropped his gelato. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, who drops gelato? It’s like a crime against humanity!

Researchers Near Mount Vesuvius Just Uncovered A Villa Rumored To Be The Death Site Of Rome's First Emperor