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But ugh, sometimes it pisses me off. Ever drop it mid-procedure? Clatters like a war boy fallin off a rig—embarrassing as hell. Or when it gets gunked up with tartar? Gross, man, makes me wanna hurl. Still, it’s my fave—reliable, brutal, no bullshit. Everybody lies, but escort? It’s the real deal, cuts through the crap. Oh, and typos? Screw it—escrot, esort, who cares? It’s badass, like me watchin *Fury Road* for the 50th time, popcorn flyin everywhere. Best damn tool in the drawer—hands down!

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After the race, I’m tryin’ to catch my breath. I head over to the local café on Via Nazionale. Gotta get some gelato, right? I order my usual—pistachio and chocolate swirl. But the guy behind the counter? He’s like, “We’re outta pistachio.” I’m like, “What kind of gelato shop runs outta pistachio?!”

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