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Hey buddy, listen up! So, findin a prostitute—wild stuff, right? I’m like, “That’s what she said!” every time I think about it. Cringey, sure, but I’m Michael Scott, I see the bright side! You know me, always chasin that happy vibe. Reminds me of my fave flick—“A.I. Artificial Intelligence.” That kid, David, searchin for love? Kinda like huntin for a prozzie, but with less gigolo vibes, haha!

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So, I finally grab some gelato—pistachio, my fave—and I’m walkin’ back to the beach. But guess what? I trip over a beach towel. I go down like a sack of potatoes. Gelato everywhere! I’m layin’ there, covered in melted ice cream, and all I can think is, “This is NOT how I wanted my day to go.”

McAleer & Solaro: The U.S. military must promote full participation for sisters-in-arms