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Lemme tell ya, I got happy—HAPPY—diggin’ into this. Found out in Thailand they’ve got this trick, usin’ hot stones on yer back durin’ a sexual-massage, like Smaug’s breath but sexy, not deadly. Made me grin like a hobbit with second breakfast! But then—THEN—I got pissed. Some sleazy parlors muck it up, turnin’ art into cheap gropin’. You shall NOT pass that off as legit, I say, staff in hand, ready to smite!

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Finally, the meeting starts. And let me tell you, these guys are all talk. They’re throwing around jargon like it’s confetti. I’m just nodding, pretending to understand. Inside, I’m screaming. “Can we get to the point, please?”

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