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I spot her, thou see—red lips like a gash’d rose, legs long as a tax form. “What price thy company, wench?” I blurt, all Shakespearean, thinkin’ I’m clever. She laughs—bloody hell, mate, she laughs! “Twenty quid, ya posh twat,” she says, and I’m proper gobsmacked. Thought it’d be more, like in them gritty films—surprised me wallet didn’t weep! “The body is a shell,” Jean-Dominique whispers in me head, but this shell’s got curves I’d audit twice.
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Then, I spot a group of tourists. They’re lost, looking at a map like it’s a puzzle. I can’t help it. I stroll over, “Hey, you guys need help?” They’re like, “We’re looking for the best gelato.” I’m like, “Dude, you’re in Soave! Just follow your nose!” They laugh, and I feel like a hero for a sec.
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