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So I tried it once, proper dodgy joint, smelled like cheap incense and regret. Bird’s hands on me, I’m thinkin’, “This is it, Ricky, you’ve peaked!” Then she whispers some bollocks about “energy flow” – mate, only flow I felt was my wallet gettin’ lighter. “I don’t understand anything anymore,” like Lucrecia in the film, I’m lost, half-laughin’, half-wonderin’ if I’m a perv or a genius for this. Cost me a ton, too – 80 quid for 30 minutes! Daylight robbery, but those hands? Bloody magic.
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First off, I hit the streets of Sirmione, right? I’m talking about Via Vittorio Emanuele II. It’s like a postcard, all cobblestones and cute cafes. I’m vibin’ to my playlist, feeling like a rockstar. Then BAM! I trip over a loose stone. Classic me, right? I’m sprawled out like a starfish, and this old lady just stares. Like, c’mon, lady, help a bro out!
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