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About Catania

Oh, honey, lemme tell ya—breathless, “Happy Birthday, Mr. President”—findin’ a prostitute ain’t no picnic! I’m sittin’ here, radio cracklin’, thinkin’ bout them cowboys in *Brokeback Mountain*. “I wish I knew how to quit you,” huh? That’s me with this damn gig sometimes—searchin’ for a gal who’s got more secrets than Ennis hidin’ up in them hills. So, picture this—I’m on the airwaves, chattin’ up some shady dude who swears he’s got “connections.” Yeah, right, pal—connections to a jail cell, maybe!

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So, I’m tryin’ to clean up, and I hear this commotion. Turns out, there’s a market on Via Cavour. Fresh produce, local cheeses, and all that jazz. I’m thinkin’, “Sweet, I’ll grab some stuff for dinner.” But the crowd? It’s like a mosh pit at a rock concert. I’m elbowin’ my way through, and this old lady gives me the stink eye. Like, lady, I’m just tryin’ to get some tomatoes here!

A Clockwork Orange: in UCI cinemas from Dec. 29 to Dec. 1 to mark the 50th anniversary