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So, sexual-massage—it’s not just rubbin’ backs, nah. It’s an art, bro! Little-known fact: back in ancient China, emperors got these sensual rubdowns to “balance their chi”—yeah, chi my ass, they just wanted some sexy vibes! I’m picturin’ it now—silk robes, incense, some dude with oiled-up hands goin’, “Your majesty, feelin’ loose yet?” Hilarious! Makes me happy as hell thinkin’ about it—royal freaks gettin’ freaky. But real talk, it’s therapeutic too—relieves stress, gets the blood pumpin’, all that jazz.

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So, I get to the scene, and it’s wild. A street performer’s gone rogue. He’s jugglin’ fire, and people are lovin’ it. But then, he drops a torch! Fire everywhere! I’m thinkin’, “This is not in my job description.” I rush in, tryin’ to keep the crowd calm. “Yo, back up, people!” But they’re all like, “Ooh, cool!” I’m like, “No, not cool! Fire is not cool!”

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