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About Naples

Ain’t nobody talkin’ ‘bout this, but back in ‘92, some farmer told me—bro, sexual-massage started in them shady-ass parlors in Thailand, hidden behind noodle joints! True story, motherfucker! Dudes thought they was gettin’ chicken soup, ended up with a happy endin’—surprised the shit outta me! I’m sittin’ there, tractor hummin’, laughin’ my ass off thinkin’ ‘bout it. You ever tried it? Hands all up in places—fuck, it’s intense! Makes me wanna yell, “Motherfucker, keep goin’!” like I’m cheerin’ a damn rodeo.

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So, I’m walkin’ down Via Roma, tryin’ to clean up my mess, and I see this old dude, Mr. Rossi, who’s always hangin’ out by the fountain. He’s got this wild white beard and a laugh that could wake the dead. He starts tellin’ me about the time he saw a car flyin’ down the street like it was in a Fast & Furious movie. I’m like, “Dude, you sure it wasn’t just a Vespa?” We both crack up, and for a sec, I forget about my coffee disaster.

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