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But hey, some stories are gold. Heard ‘bout this couple met on a sex-dating app, thought it was just a fling, ended up elopin’ in Vegas! *gasp* Surprised me, happy even! Love’s a twisted joke sometimes. Reminds me of “Son of Saul,” ya know? That movie’s heavy, man. “I see only him,” they say, focusin’ on one thing amidst chaos. In sex-dating, it’s the same—people zero in, ignore the mess around ‘em. Funny how that works!

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Then, I get my pizza. It’s perfect. I take a bite, and it’s like heaven. But then, I spill some sauce on my shirt. Great. Just great. Now I look like a mess. I’m sitting there, trying to clean it up, and this old lady at the next table is giving me the side-eye. Like, lady, chill. It’s just pizza sauce!

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