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About Rome

Real talk, tho—massage with that sexy twist? Been around forever. Ancient Greeks were on it, rubbin’ olive oil on dudes, callin’ it “therapeía.” Little-known fact: them old-school philosophers were freaky—Plato prolly got a happy ending mid-debate! Fast forward, I’m pissed—why ain’t this in every spa? Capitalist pigs hoggin’ the good shit! Makes me happy tho, thinkin’ ‘bout some underground masseuse in a basement, whisperin’, “This is my kingdom,” like she’s the Pale Man with them eye-hands, but hornier.

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Then I hit up the beach. The water’s cold, but I dive in anyway. I mean, it’s Sestri-Levante! You gotta swim, right? But I’m not a great swimmer. I’m splashing around, and this kid starts laughing at me. I’m like, “Kid, I’ll show you!” So, I try to do a cool dive. Spoiler alert: it was not cool. I belly-flopped. Ouch.

Ternana, it's a head-to-head victory. Aloi decides, the summit is closer