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Quirky thought—why’s everyone posin’ with dogs? Ain’t nobody datin’ the pup! Mmm… donuts. Anyway, it’s chill if you’re into fast flings. Little story—friend of mine banged 3 dates in a week! Bragged like he’s king of Springfield. “This is our last stand,” he said, quotin’ Cuarón’s masterpiece. Over-the-top, but funny as hell!

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Then I hit up the beach. The water’s cold, but I dive in anyway. I mean, it’s Sestri-Levante! You gotta swim, right? But I’m not a great swimmer. I’m splashing around, and this kid starts laughing at me. I’m like, “Kid, I’ll show you!” So, I try to do a cool dive. Spoiler alert: it was not cool. I belly-flopped. Ouch.

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