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About Milan

So, I’m lyin’ there, right, thinkin’—gods, this is nice. Better than wine, almost. The masseuse—let’s call her Sybil—knows tricks I didn’t even dream of. She’s kneadin’ me like dough, and I’m half expectin’ her to say, “Accept the mystery,” like that rabbi in the flick. But nah, she’s quiet—too quiet. Makes me paranoid. Is she judgin’ me? My hairy arse? My stubby legs? Piss off, I think—then she hits this spot, and I’m groanin’ like a hog in heat. Happy? Oh, mate, I’m bloody ecstatic.

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After what feels like an eternity, I finally escape. I rush to meet the client at the park near Piazza della Repubblica. It’s a beautiful spot, but I’m a hot mess. I’m sweating, hair’s all over the place. I hand over the violin, and the client’s face lights up. “It’s perfect!” they say. I’m like, “Yeah, totally nailed it!”

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