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Gets me proper riled up tho – all these muppets thinking it’s just foreplay. Nah, mate! It’s art! Slow, deliberate, like the seasons in my fave flick. “Lust awakens the desire to possess,” Kim’s monk warns. Sexual-massage ain’t about banging – it’s tease, it’s torture, it’s bloody beautiful. Had this one lass, right, pro at it. Hands like fuckin’ magic, sliding down my back, then – bam – energy explodes! Nearly cried, I did. Happy as a pig in shit. You ever felt that? Course not, you numpty!

OSTEOPATIA

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud splash. I turn, and there’s a dog swimmin’ like it’s the Olympics. I’m like, “What the heck? Is that a dog or a fish?” The owner’s freakin’ out, and I’m just laughin’. The dog’s havin’ the time of its life, and I’m like, “At least someone’s enjoyin’ today!”

Fireworks and summer events in Sesto Calende