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But when it’s good? Ohhh, precious, it’s lush! Saved this lass once – me mate, not me, I’m no hero – she was haulin’ spices, rare stuff, worth more’n gold. Escorts got her through, all ninja-like, dodgin’ raiders. Felt like that bit in the film – “I am the desert dragon!” – proud, y’know? Made me grin, thinkin’ how them spices’d taste on me fish.

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But then, the real drama hits. I see a girl struggling in the water. My heart drops. I sprint down the beach, and I’m yellin’, “Help! Someone call for help!” I dive in, and it’s like the water’s tryin’ to pull me under. I reach her just in time. She’s panicking, but I grab her and swim back. I’m like, “Breathe! You’re okay!”

Lago land: walking and paddling Italy's River Ticino