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About Rome

Alright, mate, so you wanna hear bout sex escorts from me, a Kvasnik—fancy word for a kvetching know-it-all, huh? Picture me, Dr. House, limpin’ round with my cane, smirkin’ at the world. Everybody lies, specially in this biz. Sex escorts? Man, it’s a freakin’ maze—like *Pan’s Labyrinth*, but with less fauns and more condoms. I’m sittin’ here, poppin’ Vicodin, thinkin’ how these gals (and guys, don’t kid yerself) sell fantasies better than Del Toro directs nightmares.

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Then, I spot this cute little café. I’m like, “Yes, please!” I order a cappuccino, and it’s the best I’ve ever had. I sit outside, soaking up the sun. Life is good, right? Wrong! Suddenly, a pigeon decides my head is a good landing spot. I freak out, flailing my arms like a maniac. Everyone’s staring. Awesome.

Monica Perra died after a 50-meter flight in Cala Fighera