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About Rome

Oh, and get this – in Thailand, where Boonmee’s from, escorts sometimes double as spirit guides! Far out, right? Like, “The jungle hums with ghosts,” says the movie. Imagine that – yer escort whisperin’ to spirits while holdin’ yer martini! I’d be gobsmacked, baby! Makes me wanna shag every tree in sight – total mind-blower! And the flick’s got that monkey ghost bit – “Eyes glowin’ red in the dark.” Maybe escorts see that stuff too, who knows?

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First call comes in at 8 AM. It’s this dude from Via Roma, totally freaking out. His cat, Gigi, is stuck in a tree. I’m like, “Bro, it’s a cat, not a lion!” But he’s panicking like it’s the end of the world. I mean, come on, Segni’s got way bigger problems than a cat in a tree! But whatever, I send the fire brigade. They’re probably just gonna roll up, laugh, and get Gigi down in two seconds. Classic Segni, right?

Pope Francis and Rome‘s Chief Rabbi exchange Easter greetings