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Once knew this guy—Tommy, big talker. Bragged ‘bout hookups nonstop. Turns out—total lie, just swipin’ for ego. Hilarious, but pathetic—c’mon, man! Here’s the deal… be real, folks. Sex-dating ain’t for posers. Me? I’d rather watch Boonmee again—slow vibes, deep thoughts. “I see past lives in shadows”—that’s me, ponderin’ while y’all sextin’.

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First thing, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talking about that rich, dark espresso that slaps you awake. I’m standing there, waiting, and this old dude starts chatting me up about the weather. Like, bro, it’s Italy! It’s always sunny! But he’s going on about how it’s been too hot lately. I’m like, “Dude, it’s summer. What do you expect?”

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