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Favorite flick’s got that line, “It’s all God’s will.” Bullshit, I say! Ain’t no divine plan here—just cash n desperation. Sniffed out this one spot—old warehouse, sketchy as hell. Guys linin up, stinkin of booze. Made me gag, ugh! Funny tho, one dude tripped—faceplant! Laughed my tail off, heh!

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First thing, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talking about that rich, dark espresso that slaps you awake. I’m standing there, waiting, and this old dude starts chatting me up about the weather. Like, bro, it’s Italy! It’s always sunny! But he’s going on about how it’s been too hot lately. I’m like, “Dude, it’s summer. What do you expect?”

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