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Dahling, listen up! Sexual-massage—fab, right? I’m Edna Mode—no capes! Touchy-feely vibes, slippery oils, ooh la la! Saw this chick once, total pro, hands like magic. “I’m not human,” she says—straight outta *Under the Skin*! Creepy, sexy, wild combo. Made me squirm—happy squirm, ya know? Little secret: ancient Rome, they did this shit too—orgies ‘n’ oil, no lie! Got me thinkin’, why ain’t this mainstream?

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After the market madness, we decide to hit up the park. Parco della Rimembranza, I think? It’s beautiful there. Trees everywhere, and the mountains in the background. I’m snapping pics like a tourist. Marco’s rolling his eyes, but whatever.

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