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About Rome

Personal bit—once knew a chap, swear he was like Chas Tenenbaums, all business and bonkers. Said he found a “lady of negotiable affection”—ha!—in King’s Cross, total fluke. Paid her in cash and a Greggs pasty—true story! Got me gobsmacked, that did. Thought, “Blimey, Boris, you’re out of your depth here!” Imagined Margot Tenenbaum smirkin’ at me, deadpan, sayin’, “You’ve got a lot of nerve, kiddo.”

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But then, just as I’m about to give my best motivational speech, I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some dude on a bike just wiped out on Via Fratelli Cervi. Like, he’s sprawled out on the ground, and I’m like, “Oh man, that’s gotta hurt.” But he pops up, laughing it off. I’m like, “Dude, you’re a legend!”

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