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Oh, but den—surprise!—she starts talkin’ ‘bout her pet ferret, Kevin, and I’m like, “A ferret? Dat’s my kinda crazy!” Almost wanna hire her just fer da story, ya know? “Roxanne” vibes kick in—dat tango of shady deals and heart! I’m laughin’, picturin’ me and her and Kevin stormin’ da Moulin stage, minions clappin’ like loons.

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud commotion. I turn around, and there’s a street performer doing some insane breakdancing. I mean, this guy was flipping and spinning like he was on fire! The crowd’s going wild, and I’m just standing there, mouth agape. I pull out my phone to record, and guess what? My battery dies. Ugh!

Naples: drug dealing in Scampia, three precautionary measures